Fond/like/admire/respect/find safe
#1 if I am uncomfortable I cannot talk
#2 If I can talk with you, I like you. If I can talk with you in the presence of others, I like you a lot.
I am terrified of speaking. I want to say a lot, but since I could first speak, and I wanted to feel helpful, my big mouth has sunk ships. Since before I could read and write, my answering questions and thinking outloud has ruined friendships and shocked & appalled. If I ask "what the fuc" bc I want a stranger danger woman to let go of my watch, no one in my family will talk to me for the next 6 years, until dad's funeral.
I promise I am trying to reciprocate your level of engagement. The individuals I do eventually click with are usually the leaders, raconteurs, advisors of their group. BC leaders are more experienced and practiced, can they decipher my language.
If I have a crush on you, I won't speak. I may nod along and laugh, but having a crush is stressful!
