- The following is a mess, but I stop editing if I don't publish
- The topic is very emotional and taboo so I don't know where to the line is
- an appropriate ego keeps a lonely little girl safe. "Taking it with a stiff upper lip" is set aside for the ruling demo.
- It's the most important piece of my puzzle, summer school teachers and bus drivers asked every year, why did sister summer without me, why was she driven to and from school. I think this is why. Maybe Stephmother validated her child abuse as an adult, by accusing me of child abuse as 3yo. I've never been envious of Jen or anyone: bc I have nothing! I was punished until I passed out if Jen didn't have something she wanted. Jen, Steph, and Yi ate lunch as I hung upside down. School knew from my limp the next day, it was totally normal protocol. 3rd Grade Ms.B was the first to object, got me eye glasses, and assigned the dream catcher over Thanksgiving. BTW, Ms. B was reputed by students and TA's alike to be the scariest screamiest and most strict. I didn't know I received special treatment (good or bad), and I thank Ms. B's healthy ego needing no accolade, in turn keeping my ego tiny. I do wish I knew yo thank her before she passed.
Ms. B didn't try to show me or change my mind. I didn't take home as punishment. I preferred to believe my life was normal, and she let me continue to love Jen and Steph. I took it as my duty in order to exist. Taking it without snot and loudness made me a good girl. See how one might thank God for autism? See how as an adult I'm OBSESSED with equity? How to me, the rejection of DEI is an admittance to preferring to live as a formerly domesticated animal sent out as a teeny stud during drought and war?
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Backstory tonwhy I need mother's mental health, pre-k to be quality and free; why citizenship should be more possible and more difficult at the same time; having "preferred" nations is ass, addiction counselling.
#1 2025, I have never been told that I harm children. I want an investigation into my alleged crimes.
#2 1990, Stephmothrr chose her cousin who had been hoofed in the head twice before turning 18, who had raped her sister 13 years previous, as my overnight babysitter so Stephmother could spend my kindergarten tuition on slots. In 2009, Suzanne sat between my child sexual abuser and I, at a table for Soon Nae's 70th banquet. Beside him say his wife and mother of 3. He still had that 3 nostril nose.
#3 1992, my only protectors from my birthmother's side were exiled by Stephmother's stories, as my child molesters
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How do I set off an investigation against myself? I want everyone to know everything.
Interview us individually and in group setting. Please. Please let the truth be. Let everyone know everything.
I've already lived the life of a pariah, but was told by "mother" it's bc I'm fat and you're racist. Truth can only make it better.
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Remember one thing,
through the fog of high sugars,
she had taken everything: books, beds, moms, friends, children
but loves to provide sweets and frozen foods
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Sunhee, Stephmother called every doctor, school, apartment, job and told them that you hurt children - there is no greater sin
- I didn't know she said I hurt children
- I figured it in the last year, based on reports from Target HR, treatment at PDM, and medical records sent to my last dentist - quotes with names and phone numbers
- Also found out 5 years ago, I'm invited bc I pay the entire tab if I'm invited (attendance not necessary)
- I am a pathological protector of children, I still feel the blows 3yo me receive, the loneliness of mutism bc some assume mute = deaf
- For 30 years she told Rich I tried to drown him?
Stepmother said I tried to drown the first and only human who ever understood me? I have never tried to bathe him. There are 9 yrs between us. I understand Steph was forced to acts older than her mother since 12. I was forced to act 5yo my whole life. Interview everyone. Though I was locked away I am confident, if all storylines are cross referenced, I am confident.
- Why was I never told of my crimes?
- Who gets paid bc he can never be normal?
- Who gets paid bc I can never be normal?
- Who is hiding hereditary brain damage?
Check the tapes.
If she really wants predators gone,
Why wouldn't she make a report? Why only spread rumors to every corner of my life? Would an official report require an official investigation? Would a public report make everything available to everyone?
Why when I run bg checks on myself, only anonymous reports made against Stephmother on my behalf come up?
BC she needs to get paid
Drive her Lexus to her leased laundering business in the ghetto
She knows she has no other skill
But to steal children from their mother
Stop the sweets
The only thing Stephmother gave freely was sweets
Stop equating love with sweets
Equate sweets with blinding poison
Heal
Prove Amy right
Get far far away from the one who needs me mute and foggy
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I'm not angry about my lost life, i'd been called retard like I weren't in the room, my entire life. I've also been called a liability, and that's proven true. Only individuals with social capital that came over on the Mayflower stick around. And they're not so bbali-bbali. They too only have the freedoms their parents grant.
I am forever angry that my protectors from my birthmother's side were accused of molesting me. BC I was my uncle's bastard, Steph the savior's finger pointing was that of Apollo - and they were exiled without investigation for their monster repellent back scratches, affirming and comforting snuggles that made me feel like a real person, the only individual who ever said both goodnight and goodmorning, she also showed me no hair root was pulled out with a normal hairbrushing.
Yet Steph chose her cousin who had been hoofed in the head twice before turning 18, who had raped her sister 13 years previous, as my overnight babysitter so she could spend my tuition on slots.
Is it ok if I am angry with money? Can I disenfranchise money by making healthcare, education, clean water, real foods, basic housing non luxurious? Would the most basic entitlements continue to be quarantined only for the creme de la creme like Elon-Belon?
If housing, whole foods, education weren't luxuries, would any mother need any man to be a good mom? Maybe Mom would need a great man to be the greatest mother ever, but no man needed to be a very good mom.
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You made it this far
Want to prove those lying stupid people right?
Get out of bed
Take your medicine
Heal your heart
Prove Amy right
Imagine who you'd be with a healthy body
They were born with hearts that enjoy making orphans cry from fear and hunger. Despite all of your injuries, betrayals, and a mercenary like Paura Stella acting as your only friend, misguiding for 20 years, your heart feels no pleasure causing pain, and wants to fight ever repeating me again.
Stop the sweets, they're killing you!
Do you need a reminder, who Stephmother was while I was blind? That is who she is. No, she can't help it, but do you have to take it? Get away as far and as fast as you can, because Stephmother can't help it. Why do you think her school offered no half semester scholarship to their number 1 student, capable, deserving, and kind? Soon's genes present in Jen - survivors not academics.
Stop eating sweets. She loves giving you candy and McDonald's. Remember that, through the fog of high glucose's thick syrupy blood: she had taken every prized book and pen away, but loved to provide sweets and frozen foods.
Stop the poison.
Fine, stay in the corner, where it is "safe"
I promise there is no one to mix metal hairs into your toothbrush anymore
Fine, eat as much as you want
One thing: stop the sweets stop the poison
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