Why wasn't I allowed to leave? Plenty answers offered to me since I began investigation. But you have injured each of them, their responses are tainted with revenge. Mostly to do with how obsessed you were with dad and hoe creepy he found you and your whole family. Several Yang women could not control themselves, at.your.wedding.. They said I was the only way he'd continue to send you money. Oh how he hated you.
But even after he died. Why wasn't I allowed to leave? For pure entertainment? Slots debt?
Why couldn't you and Jen leave me to bond with my birthmother? Jen and her child flew over for Christmas during covid lockdown? Twice? Why? To interfere with my reconnecting with my birthmother for the first time in 40 years?
Ok what's your justification for that?
So what if Bok called you for help in breaking my heart so I'd never come back. Did you have to help her in that too? Fly from Europe unvaccinated to break my spirit over having been abandoned and lied to by my mother over Christmas...to feel helpful. Ok.
How hurt was I, regularly frightened, that I couldn't trust the sight of my own hands.
That I was too afraid to listen to my gut, safe only when I believe what you direct me to believe. That you are my birth mother, no one loves me but you.
I know where you end up. I know where I end up. The end can't get here fast enough, where you and I communicate as equals. Not one set of arms tied behind their back, not one side never informed of the penalized rules. One an illegitimate baby hidden from the world. The other a 25yo woman raised in the ghetto with her siblings, both parents sahm, grandparents, cousins, employees, husband, birth daughter.
You and I will have access to the same knowledge, and only the wits we were each born with. Both adults.
My goal is everyone knows everything.
Can't wait.
